It Feels..Like...

So what's it feel like..really? It's hard to describe. It's just this unbelievable "cloud" that seems to appear in front of me. I know that sometimes i've gotten out of bed and literally just sat back down on the couch in my office and stared straight ahead, not really thinking or feeling. And that lasted practically all day. Not being able to smile when something's funny. Hoping beyond hope that i won't run into anyone in order to not have to talk to them. If i do then i have to act as if everything's cool. The worst is when nothing really matters. Things that once did just don't any longer. It's also so easy to think of what's wrong with life instead of all the many things that are good. For me depression creates a world of silence. Not only verbally but emotionally, spiritually and physically. Not just silence, but darkness. Not to even mention the worst time of day for me....how it affects everyone around me......